Butterfly Kisses
by xana4
Summary: As much as it hurts her to think about it, everything changed in less than a minute. And the worst part is that she's sure she has no one to blame but herself.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This idea wouldn't leave me alone so here's the first chapter of my brand new story. Let me know what you think about it and I'll update as soon as I can. Enjoy =)**

Life changes in one minute.

That's the truth.

As much as it hurts her to think about it, everything changed in less than a minute. And the worst part is that she's sure she has no one to blame but herself.

Now, sitting alone on her living room couch, with tears threatening to escape, she grabs the phone and dials the number of the only person she wants by her side right now.

After two rings, a soft voice comes through the phone and she starts sobbing, not being able to control her emotions anymore.

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_Kensi's not feeling well but she's not one to admit that out loud. _

_Everyone knows that. Deeks keeps looking at her and she keeps glaring at him to show him she doesn't like that. _

_The relationship they have now is not one that the entire office can find out about. She can't even imagine what would be like if Callen and Sam were to find out that she's been sleeping with Deeks. _

_Yes, five months ago they got drunk one night and ended up sleeping together. And, afterwards, they both agreed that it couldn't happen again. But, after the same thing happened two more times that week (without alcohol in the mix), they started a friends-with-benefits kind of relationship. _

_This is exactly why he can't spend the entire day looking at her like that. _

_But she's been feeling weird all day. _

_She can't really explain what she's feeling. It's just as if something is not right but she can't quite figure out what. _

_After a few hours, she shakes that feeling off and focuses on the new case. _

_It's just another job, another operation. This is what they do, what they're good at. They are fighting the bad guys, trying to arrest them. It's going well. They're fairly easy to fight off._

_Deeks watches, from a small distance, as his partner punches one of the guys (the one who is twice her size). It's nothing to worry about. Despite how weird she's been acting all day, he knows she can handle it. _

_It's only when the guy punches her on the stomach and she doubles over in pain instead of fighting back that he rushes to her, gun in hand ready to shoot. Callen arrests the guy and Deeks kneels next to Kensi, noticing the pain in her features and the way she keeps clenching her stomach to try to ease the pain. _

_She speaks, her voice quivering, and he knows this is serious. "I think I need to go to the hospital. It really hurts, Marty."_

_He doesn't know if it is because she calls him Marty or because there are tears running down her cheeks but he screams for an ambulance as loud as he can, to make sure the guys hear him. They call Eric and the ambulance arrives a few minutes later, minutes that seem to last forever for the three men who have to watch her in so much pain. _

_Deeks is forced to leave her side when they get to the hospital because the doctors need to run a few tests to figure out what's wrong. _

_After a few minutes, the nurse walks to him and tells him he can go see her. "The doctor ran a few tests. You can wait with her for the results."_

_He kisses her forehead, grabs her hand and sits next to her. She gives him a small smile to try to show him she's feeling better but he knows she's still in pain. The doctor arrives with the test results and a frown on his face that has him immediately concerned. "Miss Blye, we asked you if you were pregnant but you didn't answer us. As it turns out, you were two months pregnant."_

_Deeks is in shock but he notices Kensi is just looking at the doctor. She knew. He is sure she knew. The doctor carries on. "Unfortunately, the punch was too strong and you suffered a miscarriage. We're sorry but there is nothing we can do. You can try again in a few months, though."_

_Deeks lets go of her hand. She knew she was pregnant. She knew she was carrying his baby and went to the field. She got into a fight and decided to hide the fact that she was pregnant. _

_Deeks shakes his head, unable to look at her. "I can't do this."_

_And he walks away, leaving her alone in the hospital. _

_And she doesn't try to call him because he's partially right. This is her fault. She should have listened to what her body was trying to tell her. She was pregnant. Sure, she only found out about that when the doctor said she'd lost the baby, but it's still her fault. She should have noticed before._

_And now she lost her baby and the man that meant the world to her. All in less than one hour._

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Fifteen minutes after she hangs up the phone, she hears the familiar car parking on her street and hears the rushed steps to her door. So she gets up and opens the door. As soon as she does, warm arms surround her and try to offer her as much comfort as possible in this situation. Her sobs keep on coming and before she knows it, she's sitting on the couch, she arms she missed so much still around her. When she finally manages to keep the tears under control, she pulls back and looks up with her eyes still wet and red.

"I need you, mom."

Julia pulls her closer once again and tries her best to calm down her daughter.

**Let me know what you think about this first chapter. I want to know if you like the idea or if it's not worth pursuing.**

**Love,  
Sarah**


	2. Chapter 2

**Very Important AN on the bottom of this chapter…Please read!  
Enjoy =)**

He would be lying if he said he slept more than two hours the night before. But then again, no one is really asking.

And after today, he doubts that anyone will ever bother to ask again.

He walked out on Kensi yesterday and that has to be considered something unforgivable for the team. Deeks is not sure why he's still in one piece but is better guess is that they don't know what happened yet.

But he's not sorry and that's the scary part.

She had no right to do that to him, to them. He had the right to be the first one to know about her pregnancy but she decided to hide that and, by the time he found out, he also found out there was no longer a baby to be acknowledged.

A part of him knows that Kensi must be a wreck with this but he is not strong enough to comfort her, right now. He's not strong enough to be strong for both of them.

He's having a hard time being strong as it is.

That's why he doesn't even bother showing up for work. Instead, he grabs his surfboard and heads to the beach.

Maybe the waves will calm him down, like they always do.

Maybe it will stop hurting.

Maybe, just maybe, he will come to terms with this horrible thing that happened to them and manage to be there for the woman he loves.

Love…that's another taboo for them. They don't do love.

They are just friends who sleep together almost every night. The part of his brain that is still capable of forming coherent thoughts connects the dots and warns him that might have been the reason why he didn't sleep last night. Maybe it was more than a guilty conscience mixed with sadness- maybe he just can't sleep without her by his side anymore.

And damn it all to hell because not even surfing is enough to calm him down after such thoughts.

Still, he tries.

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Kensi spends the day cleaning.

It's something she is not used to doing but that feels right today. She cried in her mother's arms for hours the night before, something she's not particularly proud of. After that, she told Julia to leave, that she was alright. It was a lie but Julia knew she needed some time alone and left without arguing.

After a sleepless night, she finds herself actually cleaning her kitchen. Her phone rings many times during the morning but she doesn't pick up. She's not in the mood to talk to anyone.

Hetty knows what happened so she's not the one calling.

If it's either Callen or Sam, they'll ask Hetty what's going on.

If it's her mother, she'll understand she wants to be alone and without being bothered.

If it's Deeks…well, that's the one person she doesn't want to think about.

She let him down. She ruined everything and lost the one person whose loss she couldn't deal with. She knows he's not calling because he's probably still fuming.

She lost their baby and that's probably more than enough to make him hate her.

And the worst part is that Kensi doesn't feel like she can blame him for that. He has the right to hate her for as long as he can.

This was all her fault. And she deserves to deal with the consequences of it alone, without anyone's support.

So she just keeps cleaning, hoping everything will go away but knowing it won't.

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After watching Callen and Sam stress about Kensi and Deeks' whereabouts for close to 30 minutes, Hetty finally makes a decision and calls them both to her office. They don't sit, despite her offer, and she gets how nervous they both are. So she starts, without beating around the bush.

"Ms. Blye suffered a miscarriage yesterday, after that punch in the stomach."

Callen and Sam are shocked and it's clear on their faces but Hetty continues, seeing as they are speechless. "Mr. Deeks was the father of the baby."

Callen breaks his silence. "We're not blind, Hetty. We know about Deeks and Kensi. But why didn't she tell us about the pregnancy? We would have been more careful and we wouldn't have allowed her to go to the field."

Hetty sighs. "I'm afraid she didn't know about it either, Mr. Callen. I haven't had the chance to speak to either of them but Julia filled me in this morning."

Sam frowns. "You're friends with Kensi's mother?"

Hetty shakes her head. "I wouldn't call us friends but we talk every now and then. This morning, Julia felt like I needed to know what was going on with my two agents. And I'm glad she told me."

Callen nods and sits on the chair across from Hetty's. "So Deeks is with Kensi?"

She was afraid of that particular question and hesitates before answering but both agents notice that. Callen gets up and she can tell he's angry, now. "Where is he?"

Hetty takes a deep breath. She knows how overprotective Callen can be so she knows she needs to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. "You both need to promise me you won't go see him. You have to promise me you won't do anything."

Sam and Callen seem reluctant but end up nodding. "We promise."

Hetty finally tells them the whole story. "When the doctor told them about the miscarriage, Mr. Deeks said he couldn't handle that and left. Julia told me he hasn't called or said anything to Kensi ever since. I don't know where he is."

She notices Sam frowning and Callen's fists ready to come in contact with Deeks' face. So she reminds them. "You both promised me you wouldn't do a damn thing. I expect you to honor that promise. Now, there's work to be done."

Callen and Sam walk to the bullpen and Callen grabs his phone. A grumpy voice answers on the other end but he couldn't care less about grumpiness right now. "Kensi was pregnant. She had a miscarriage yesterday and Deeks walked out. He's all yours."

And, just like that, some of his anger dissipates.

**Who did Callen call? Let's see how many of you can guess. In fact, I'm going to do something special with this chapter. The reader/readers that guess who Callen called will receive a very special surprise (one I'm not going to reveal yet). So, who's willing to try?**

**I'm sorry it took me this long to update but I just started college and I'm still getting used to the schedules. That means all I want to do when I get home is sleep.  
Anyway, I will update as soon as I can and reviews are always a great motivation.  
Love,  
Sarah**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"_The best kind of friend is the one you could sit on a porch with, never saying a word, and walk away feeling like that was the best conversation you've had." _

Callen tries to stay away for as long as he can but, as it turns out, that's not very long. Kensi is like a little sister to him and just the thought of her going through all this alone makes him sick. That's why he asks Hetty to go visit Kensi. And, after making him promise he wasn't going to pay Deeks a visit, she lets him go. He parks outside her house and sits inside the car for a few minutes.

He's never been in this situation before. He doesn't know what to do or what to say to her. It's new territory and a very scary one. Callen is not completely emotionally detached. He knows something like this takes a tool on people. It's hard for him to imagine she lost a baby. He can't even begin to know what it must feel like for her, the person who was carrying said baby.

Deciding that enough is enough, Callen gets out of the car and walks to her door. After knocking, he only has to wait a few seconds for her to open the door. And nothing could have prepared him to the image he sees. Kensi is absolutely normal. He doesn't know what he was expecting but a smiling Kensi wasn't in his list.

She opens the door wider for him and what he sees keeps surprising him. The house that usually looks like a hurricane went through it is actually very clean today. It's so clean that he can sit on the couch without moving anything away, something he's never been able to do before. Kensi sits across from him and breaks the silence.

"I have ice cold beers in the fridge. Do you want one?"

Callen shakes his head and looks into her eyes, trying to read her. But Kensi is good and her walls are up, shielding anyone that tries to understand what's going through her mind. Just as he's about to say something, Julia walks in with a small smile on her face. Callen can tell by the look on her face that she's worried with her daughter. "Honey, I'm going to start dinner. I'll be in the kitchen, if you need anything."

Kensi nods and Julia disappears into the kitchen. "I keep telling her to go home but she seems ignore me."

Callen nods. "That's because she's worries about you. We all do, Kensi."

Sadness so strong that she can't hide takes over her features as she speaks. "Not everyone does…"

And he doesn't know what to tell her about that. Seeing her so broken, even for a few seconds, makes him want to break the promise he made to Hetty and rip Deeks a new one. But, for some reason, he still has the feeling Deeks might have a good explanation for all this. After all, he's still someone who cares a lot about Kensi. Still, Kensi shakes her head as if to get rid of those thoughts and turns to him once again.

"I'm fine, Callen. You didn't need to come here."

He shakes his head. "Kensi, don't say you're fine because you can't be fine. What happened to you was awful but you can't shut everyone out. You can talk to me."

She takes a deep breath and he sees some unshed tears on her eyes, tears she doesn't allow to escape. "I lost a baby. I lost a baby I didn't even know that existed. And I keep wondering what would be like if I'd noticed earlier. This is my fault, Callen. So it's my burden to bear."

Those words shock him and he scoots closer to her. "Kensi, this is not your fault. And it's not something you have to deal with alone. We're all here for you. Just don't blame yourself for this…"

And, just like that, she breaks down in his arms.

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Deeks surfs until the cold water starts turning him into a shivering mess. So he gets out of the water and starts trying to dry himself off with the towel.

His mind is somewhere far away as he tries to think about anything but Kensi and what happened. It's not working because nothing can take his mind off of her. However, when a strange couple walks to him with a somewhat scary look on their faces, he has the feeling he's about to meet some friends of hers.

And his suspicions are confirmed when the man stops in front of him and starts talking. "Callen and Sam trusted you. We never met but Callen and Sam assured me you were trustworthy and I believed them. I've always trusted their judgment when it comes to that because I know they care about Kensi as much as I do. But it seems like you fooled everyone. You're not half the man she deserves."

That angers him because he doesn't even know this man. "You don't know me and I don't know you. As far as I'm concerned, you have no business talking to me like that."

The man delivers a well-aimed punch to his nose before he has time to react and he's on the floor in seconds. The woman chooses this moment to give a step forward and speak. "Let's put it this way, detective: I'm going to talk to Kensi and if she tells me you're as good as dead to her, you're as good as dead to the world. I don't think I need to be any clearer than that, do I? Let's just say I'm one of the only people in this world who can kill you and leave no forensic evidences behind. Have a good day, Detective."

With that much said, they walk away. And the strangest thing is that Deeks can't blame for this. He got it coming, even though he doesn't know who the hell just punched him or who the hell just threatened him.

**AN: I'm cleared to surf! I'm just warning you because that means I'm going to start surfing to make up for the lost time. That means I'm not sure of when I'll be able to update. Between college, friends, parties, boyfriend, family and surf, I don't have much free time on my hands. However, I will do my best to make sure you continue to receive your weekly updates.  
Love,  
Sarah**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Julia sits next to Kensi, a few minutes after Callen leaves the house. She's not used to see her daughter like this and it's not something that is easy for her to deal with.

And it has nothing to do with the fact that she wasn't around that much while she was growing up. She doesn't know what to do or say in this situation and Kensi seems to want to shut everyone out of her feelings.

It's frustrating for her because she should be the one to comfort her daughter. Sure, Callen tried to help.

But he's not a woman and he doesn't know what this feels like for a woman. Granted, Julia never went through something like this but she can imagine her daughter's pain, especially seeing as Deeks is not around to help her.

Kensi doesn't even look at her and it scares her because it only means she's shielding herself once again, after opening up to Callen. Still, Julia breaks the silence. "Kensi, you can talk to me."

She looks up and meets her mother's eyes. "I know I can, mom. But I don't want to. It's nothing personal…it's just not who I am. I don't open up."

Julia shakes her head. "You seemed to open up with Callen a few minutes ago, though."

Kensi sighs and leans back on the couch, still a bit sore after what happened yesterday. "It's more complicated than that, mom. Callen, as hard as it might be for you to hear this, knows me better than you. He's seen me at my best and at my worst. And I know him too. I'm not saying I like to open up to anyone, not even him, but it's easier. Besides, he always knows what to say and what to do to make me talk."

Julia disguises the sadness she feels upon hearing those words. She can't blame Kensi because the truth is that they don't have the typical mother-daughter relationship. For years, they didn't even talk. This is better. Yesterday, she cried in her arms. So she can deal with this today. "You consider talking to Marty too, Kensi."

Kensi shakes her head immediately. "I can't do that. He hates me and he has the right to."

Julia frowns, having no idea of what her daughter's talking about. "Honey, what makes you think he hates you?"

Julia sees Kensi's eyes tearing up and sees her daughter's effort to keep the tears at bay. "I lost our baby. He has the right to hate me for that. I can't blame him for it."

Finally understanding her daughter's pain, Julia tries to comfort her. "Kensi, he doesn't hate you for that. In fact, I'm sure he doesn't hate you at all. You need to talk to him as soon as possible."

Kensi shakes her head once again. "I can't do that, mom."

Julia nods. "Then let me talk to him. I'll explain him what's going on and he'll come around."

Kensi gets up and looks at her mother pleadingly. "Please, promise me you won't do that. You have to promise me you won't talk to Deeks. Promise me that, mom."

Julia gives in and nods. "I promise you, Kensi."

Kensi seems satisfied with that answer and leaves the living room, walking to her bedroom to lie down for a little while.

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Hetty knocks on the door and waits patiently. She knows Deeks is home because his car and surfboard are there. And he opens the door two minutes later, a look she can't quite read on his face. Still, he lets her in without a word.

Hetty sits on the couch across from his and notices the bruise formed on his nose and eye. "I see you met Mr. Renko."

Deeks shrugs. "I have no idea if who I met. A couple walked up to me and the man punched me. He didn't even say his name and I didn't ask. Who's that guy?"

Hetty sighs. "Let's just say Mike Renko is an even more protective version of Mr. Callen. I made Callen promise me he wouldn't come after you so I'm guessing he called Renko to do that."

"And the woman? She was rather scary…"

Hetty nods with a small smile on her face. "I have no idea but my best guess is probably Abby. She works with another NCIS division."

Deeks takes a deep breath, something that hurts quite a lot given the condition of his nose. "So they already know everything."

Though it's more a statement than a question, Hetty confirms it. "I had to tell them. They had the right to know."

Deeks nods but doesn't say another word. Understanding that he's not in the mood to talk, Hetty ends up leaving, praying those two can solve things between them.

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When Julia hears the knock on the door, she almost hopes that it's Marty on the other side of it. But she opens it and sees the face of a man and a woman she never met before. The frown on her face makes them smile and the woman breaks the silence.

"You must be Kensi's mother. I'm Abby Sciuto and this is Mike Renko. We're her friends and Callen told us what happened. Is it okay if we come in?"

Julia hesitates for a minute but ends up stepping outside and closing the door behind her, making them frown this time. "Kensi's sleeping and there's something I need to know. I promised her I wouldn't talk to Deeks but he needs to know a few things. She didn't even know she was pregnant and is blaming herself for losing the baby. I want to go talk to him."

Renko nods, a bit confused with Julia's words. "What's your question, exactly?"

Julia blurts it out, making him smile because he finally understands where Kensi got that from. "Can you stay here while I go talk to Deeks and make an excuse if she wakes up?"

Abby lets out a small laugh and nods, knowing that she's breaking a promise but also knowing she means well. Besides, she's not entirely convinced that Deeks is a bad guy. Julia motions for them to walk inside the house. She grabs her bag and leaves, hoping that this will solve things between her daughter and the man who loves her.

Abby and Renko just sit and wait, not wanting to wake up Kensi.

**I'm sorry it took this long to update my stories but I started college this year and my doctor told me I could surf again two weeks ago. I've been busy with surf, parties, study and family. I'm sorry. But it's starting to get easier and I've learned how to work with only 5 hours of sleep. With that said, updates will become regular once again or so I hope.**

**Your reviews mean the world to me and, if you want to ask me something, I'll give my best to answer you.**

**Love,  
Sarah**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

When Kensi wakes up and walks into the living room, she's not expecting to find Renko and Abby sitting on her couch.

"Why are you two here?"

Renko gets up and gives her a tight quick hug. "Callen called me and I told him I would take care of this. But I needed a female point of view with this situation and I know you and Abby get along. She got here in record time, I must say."

Kensi frowns and gives Renko a scary look. "What did you do to Deeks?"

Abby steps forward, gives her a quick hug, and answers her question. "The original idea was to give him a piece of our minds but someone lost a bit of control and left him with a bleeding nose."

Kensi shakes her head and sits on the couch, looking defeated. "You shouldn't have done anything, not even talk to him."

Renko stands in front of her, confused and angry at the same time. "That guy walks out on you when you need him the most and you defend him?"

She shakes her head and looks at him, allowing him to see the sadness in her eyes. "He's angry and he has the right to be. I lost our baby due to being reckless."

Renko is too shocked to talk so Abby takes over and sits next to her on the couch. "Kensi, that wasn't your fault!"

That does it for her. Kensi gets up and throws one final sentence before locking herself in her bedroom. "I wish everyone would stop telling me that…"

Abby sighs and looks at Renko, who still looks angry. "She won't believe that unless he's the one who tells her."

After a few second without receiving an answer, Abby tries to make him talk. "Do you think Kensi's mom can solve this?"

Renko shrugs and sits next to her on the couch. "I hope so. She needs him right now."

Abby nods. "They need one another. He's hurting too. Didn't you see it in his eyes?"

Renko gets up and his voice shows just how angry he is. "Kensi's like a little sister to me and he walked out on her. If it were up to me, both his eyes would be bruised right now."

And, with that much said, he leaves to get some fresh air and see if he can calm down.

**X**

The doorbell rings and Deeks opens it but, as soon as he sees who's there, he walks to his living room without as much as a word.

Julia closes the door behind her and walks in, noticing that Deeks won't even look at her. "You can look at me. I won't bite."

Deeks ignores her comment and doesn't dare to meet her eyes. "Why are you here?"

Julia sighs. "I promised Kensi I wouldn't do anything but you're both hurting and enough is enough."

His voice is low and Julia can hear the sadness in his voice. "You shouldn't have come. She'll be angry."

She walks closer to him and rests her hand on his back, just like a mother would to comfort her child. "I know, but it's worth the risk. And I also know you won't look at me because you're afraid I'll be disappointed in you."

Deeks sighs and finally turns around, looking into the eyes of the woman who is slowly but surely becoming like a mother to him. "Aren't you?"

Julia shakes her head. "No, I'm not. I get it. I can only imagine how painful this must be. But you need to get through this together."

Deeks doesn't even try to disguise the hurt and the sadness he is feeling. "We should have gone through everything together. She should have told me she was pregnant the minute she found out. I should have been there when she found out."

Suddenly, it becomes clear to her. "So that's what this is about…"

He frowns but nods anyway. "Yes, that's what this is about."

Julia reacts quickly and tells him what's going on. "Then you need to go talk to her right now. Marty, she didn't know she was pregnant. You were there when she found out…She thinks you hate her because she lost your baby. She's a mess because she blames herself for it and won't believe any of us when we tell her it wasn't her fault. She needs you. Please, don't walk out when she needs you the most."

Upon hearing those words, Deeks reacts quickly and grabs his keys. In a matter of seconds, he's running out of the door without a word. And Julia smiles because she knows where he's going and has the feeling that everything is going to be okay.

**X**

Deeks walks inside her house and ignores Renko and Abby who are sitting on the couch. They don't make a move to stop him either, when he nearly runs to her bedroom and opens the door. After closing it behind him, he looks at her and the sight is enough to break his heart.

Kensi's sitting on the bed, her back against the headboard and her eyes slightly red. He takes one step forward but doesn't dare to get any closer, afraid of her reaction. So, in a low voice, he breaks the silence.

"You didn't know…"

Even though she's not crying, her voice is a bit shaky. "Is that a question?"

He takes another step forward, still afraid. "Why didn't you tell me you didn't know?"

That makes her react and, for the first time, he's happy to hear her angry voice because that means she still cares enough to argue with him. "I didn't tell you because you stormed off and I didn't have the chance to say anything!"

Deeks walks a bit closer and tries to calm her down. "I don't want to argue with you…"

She shakes her head and he sees one tear running down her cheek. "What do you want, then?"

That tear does it for him and he reacts quickly. In a matter of seconds, he's sitting next to her on the bed, one of his arms wrapped around her shoulders and one hand wiping away her tear. "I want to make things right. I'm sorry. I should have given you the chance to tell me you didn't know. I should have been here for you since the very beginning."

Kensi allows him to hug her close and rests her head on his shoulder, needing the comfort only he is capable of providing her with. "It hurts. I don't know why but it hurts."

Glad that she's not pulling back from him, he kisses the top of her head. "It hurts because we lost a part of us…"

Kensi lifts her head and looks him in the eye. "It was my fault. You're the one who has to forgive me."

Deeks reacts quickly once again and pulls her as close as possible, kissing every inch of her face he can. "You didn't know. It wasn't your fault!"

Kensi shakes her head, stubbornly. "Marty, it's still my fault. What kind of woman doesn't notice she's pregnant?"

He kisses her sweetly on the lips, trying to show her how he feels. "I don't blame you and neither should you."

Then, she looks into his eyes with so much hope in hers that he's immediately curious. "Do you love me?"

Deeks nods and pulls her as close as possible. "Yes, of course I love you!"

She rests her head on his chest and another tear escapes her eyes. "I lost our baby…"

He lifts her head so his eyes can meet hers. He needs her to know how much she means to him and how he feels about this. "It doesn't change anything. I love you. Nothing can change that, Kensi."

Her answer is fast, surprising him because she's not someone who is usually this open. "I love you too."

They spend the next few minutes in silence until he breaks the silence, shakily. "Would you consider having a baby with me, someday?"

Kensi nods and offers him a smile. "I would love to have your babies, Marty."

After giving her a sweet kiss on the lips, he decides it's time to start the healing process, together this time. "What do you need, right now?"

Kensi wraps her arms around his waist and hugs him tight, her head on his chest. "I just need you to hold me."

Deeks lets out a small laugh and hugs her back. "That's it? That's easy…"

She nods without moving away from him. "Yeah, all I need is you."

He kisses the top of her head and whispers in her ear, conspiratorially. "Are you sure? Because I happen to have chocolate in my car…"

Kensi laughs. "You and chocolate sounds perfect!"

He turns serious, all of a sudden, because despite the joking this is still a serious situation. "I promise you I will spend the rest of my life apologizing for this."

Kensi shakes her head. "You don't need to. You're here now. I forgive you!"

They both know things aren't okay yet because they still have to deal with the loss of their unborn baby, but they'll go through it together and that's what matters.

And, by the time Julia arrives, Kensi doesn't have the courage to yell at her for breaking her promise.

**The End**

**Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing this story. The idea was slightly dark at first but I like to think I turned it around and gave it a good ending. I would love to know what you think about this ending I came up with. **

**I have a new story that I'll try to publish before the beginning of December. Keep an eye out for that one.**

**Love,  
Sarah**


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